Lately I've just been... less happy. I've been frustrated with classes and work and just kind of for no reason at all. I was feeling this rather acutely during my evening class tonight (Digital Painting). Not for any particular reason--I just was generally frustrated, for absolutely no good reason.
Leave class. Turn right instead of left when leaving HFAC. Enter Library.
And hour and a half passes.
Exit library, with a new spring in step and absurd grin on face.
Oh library, how I love thee.
I have previously demonstrated the greatness of my ode-writing skills (which is to say, non-skills) so I shall fall back on what others have said on this subject.
I have never known a trouble that an hour's reading would not dissipate.
-Charles Louis Montesquieu
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accesible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
-Charles W. Eliot
When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
-Michel de Montaigne
I collected these quotes (and several others) from a quote book mom had on the table in the living room last time I was home. They are of course always true, but I didn't anticipate how very applicable they would soon be.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
an odd thought
So I just had an odd thought while doing my Judaism reading, but it isn't a very complete one, if that makes sense. But it makes sense to me as far as it goes, and I rather feel like sharing it for a few reasons, the main one perhaps most easily said through the bromide of "two heads are better than one"--I'm interested in your thoughts on my Random Odd Thought.
As I said, this thought occured to me while I was doing reading for my Judaism and the Gospel class. How it came to me was this: I was reading an article which, in short, said "This is the way things were done". Then I got to the next section of the article, which was attempting to answer (or simply discussing the question of)--Why?
Why? All the way through the article up to that point I hadn't really thought to ask this question. What was being said made sense with what I knew and had read elsewhere, and the question of why things were that way hadn't really occured to me. In the back of my mind, almost far enough back that I didn't fully realize I was having this thought, came the words: Why (heh) didn't you ask why? The article seems to assume that readers should be asking this question. Almost before I realized I was asking myself this question, the answer arrived almost right on top of it. Because you're not a person who asks why. You're a person who asks how.
This answer is what brought the original mostly-subconcious train of thought to the front of my mind. But it made sense to me. Some people ask why--the most obvious group to point out would be scientists, or people who think like scientitsts. Instead, I ask how. This question is a bit less inquisitive and more active, it seems. Though the questions are really very similar--if you ask why something happens you will usually get a very similar answer to the question of how something happens--but its the feeling behind them that is different.
And then I was thinking, what if we all have our different questions? To some who? is more important, to others, why? where? what? when? or how?.
I rather liked this odd thought as it occured to me, but I also have this feeling that it...isn't complete. So I come to my blog readers. Do you have any thoughts on my thought?
(My computer crashed during the writing of this entry. My first frustrated thought wasn't, why did this happen? but rather how do I keep this from happening again?. And then I thought about it, and laughed to myeself.)
As I said, this thought occured to me while I was doing reading for my Judaism and the Gospel class. How it came to me was this: I was reading an article which, in short, said "This is the way things were done". Then I got to the next section of the article, which was attempting to answer (or simply discussing the question of)--Why?
Why? All the way through the article up to that point I hadn't really thought to ask this question. What was being said made sense with what I knew and had read elsewhere, and the question of why things were that way hadn't really occured to me. In the back of my mind, almost far enough back that I didn't fully realize I was having this thought, came the words: Why (heh) didn't you ask why? The article seems to assume that readers should be asking this question. Almost before I realized I was asking myself this question, the answer arrived almost right on top of it. Because you're not a person who asks why. You're a person who asks how.
This answer is what brought the original mostly-subconcious train of thought to the front of my mind. But it made sense to me. Some people ask why--the most obvious group to point out would be scientists, or people who think like scientitsts. Instead, I ask how. This question is a bit less inquisitive and more active, it seems. Though the questions are really very similar--if you ask why something happens you will usually get a very similar answer to the question of how something happens--but its the feeling behind them that is different.
And then I was thinking, what if we all have our different questions? To some who? is more important, to others, why? where? what? when? or how?.
I rather liked this odd thought as it occured to me, but I also have this feeling that it...isn't complete. So I come to my blog readers. Do you have any thoughts on my thought?
(My computer crashed during the writing of this entry. My first frustrated thought wasn't, why did this happen? but rather how do I keep this from happening again?. And then I thought about it, and laughed to myeself.)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
pet peeve
I can't really call it a Pet Peeve, because that is just something that kind of rubs you the wrong way, but doesn't really make you extremely angry.
Last week one of my roommates had one of her guy friends over. I talked with them a bit, and he seemed nice enough, though not exactly the type that I could really hit it off with, if you know what I mean. (Which is to say, he was very not nerdy.) So they continue chatting while I go over to my usual end of the couch with the lamp and start reading. He's kind of on his way out--they're gradually getting closer to the door while conversation continues--when they get on the subject of their aspirations, etc. and my roommate admitted that what she really wants to do is write for children.
"Oh," says her friend, "thats easy." He made a motion like he was just scribbling something really fast. "I mean, you just... you know?"
This is far from the first time someone has made a similar suggestion to/in front of me when someone admits to aspirations in childrens literature--either writing or illustration. Its hard for me to believe that they don't realize how utterly tactless, and of course wrong, they are. (How would you like me to say in a sort of brush-of way that your major sounds easy?) But what is also hard for me to believe is that, knowing how unthinking and common, etc., this thinking is, I still become, like, swellingly angry whenever someone makes this kind of comment. But, probably fortunately, I am not a person who yells, or even one who shows much emotion or says much of anything. So when my roommates friend says that writing childrens books is "easy", its only inside that I'm screaming,"EASY? Yeah, well you know what ELSE is EASY? JUMPING OFF A CLIFF IS EASY. So why don't you do the world a favor and go DO that. And be sure to aim for those SHARP ROCKS AT THE BOTTOM. And by the way I've decided to HATE YOU FOR ETERNITY." But while I'm thinking this, I'm still apparently calmly reading, though they probably never noticed that I've stopped moving my eyes over the page, or turning pages.
I waited for my mostly-suppressed explosion until after he was out the door, which was fortunately not long after.
"How can he not know how utterly tactless that was? Not to mention entirely wrong," I said.
"What was?" asked Annie, who had entered just as I said this. I told her what he said, and how this has happened to me several times before, and how it always makes me see red, but I never, ever say anything. So in a very small way it is my fault, for not correcting this thinking when I encounter it, right?
"Well, kind of," Annie said, "I'm not saying that that kind of thinking shouldn't be corrected, but really, I think it's better that you don't say anything when you're as angry as all that. And I know it's hard, but you should probably try to get used to the fact that you're going to keep encountering this kind of thinking and you should try and just let it roll over you, or you're going to keep getting angry about something you have no control over."
And of course she's right, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Last week one of my roommates had one of her guy friends over. I talked with them a bit, and he seemed nice enough, though not exactly the type that I could really hit it off with, if you know what I mean. (Which is to say, he was very not nerdy.) So they continue chatting while I go over to my usual end of the couch with the lamp and start reading. He's kind of on his way out--they're gradually getting closer to the door while conversation continues--when they get on the subject of their aspirations, etc. and my roommate admitted that what she really wants to do is write for children.
"Oh," says her friend, "thats easy." He made a motion like he was just scribbling something really fast. "I mean, you just... you know?"
This is far from the first time someone has made a similar suggestion to/in front of me when someone admits to aspirations in childrens literature--either writing or illustration. Its hard for me to believe that they don't realize how utterly tactless, and of course wrong, they are. (How would you like me to say in a sort of brush-of way that your major sounds easy?) But what is also hard for me to believe is that, knowing how unthinking and common, etc., this thinking is, I still become, like, swellingly angry whenever someone makes this kind of comment. But, probably fortunately, I am not a person who yells, or even one who shows much emotion or says much of anything. So when my roommates friend says that writing childrens books is "easy", its only inside that I'm screaming,"EASY? Yeah, well you know what ELSE is EASY? JUMPING OFF A CLIFF IS EASY. So why don't you do the world a favor and go DO that. And be sure to aim for those SHARP ROCKS AT THE BOTTOM. And by the way I've decided to HATE YOU FOR ETERNITY." But while I'm thinking this, I'm still apparently calmly reading, though they probably never noticed that I've stopped moving my eyes over the page, or turning pages.
I waited for my mostly-suppressed explosion until after he was out the door, which was fortunately not long after.
"How can he not know how utterly tactless that was? Not to mention entirely wrong," I said.
"What was?" asked Annie, who had entered just as I said this. I told her what he said, and how this has happened to me several times before, and how it always makes me see red, but I never, ever say anything. So in a very small way it is my fault, for not correcting this thinking when I encounter it, right?
"Well, kind of," Annie said, "I'm not saying that that kind of thinking shouldn't be corrected, but really, I think it's better that you don't say anything when you're as angry as all that. And I know it's hard, but you should probably try to get used to the fact that you're going to keep encountering this kind of thinking and you should try and just let it roll over you, or you're going to keep getting angry about something you have no control over."
And of course she's right, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Life is good.
Life is good. It is also very busy, kind of crazy, full of work and classes and drawing and homework with reading and sleep and suchlike filling in the cracks--but life is fundamentally, firstly, and generally... good.
I have noticed over the last few weeks that I smile alot more than I used to. A gentle smile, as opposed to a slight frown, has become my neutral I'm-just-walking-from-here-to-there-and-thinking-of-nothing-in-particular expression. I had come to accept that a slight frown is just my regular neutral expression, that I'm not a smiley person. I still don't think I'm a smiley person, but that does not mean that I can't or won't be "neutrally happy", if that makes any sense to anyone but me. Devins favorite joke on me is, "Stop looking so happy, Sarah." Of course he means it sarcastically, but seriously--I don't want to stop, now I've learned how. :D
I have noticed over the last few weeks that I smile alot more than I used to. A gentle smile, as opposed to a slight frown, has become my neutral I'm-just-walking-from-here-to-there-and-thinking-of-nothing-in-particular expression. I had come to accept that a slight frown is just my regular neutral expression, that I'm not a smiley person. I still don't think I'm a smiley person, but that does not mean that I can't or won't be "neutrally happy", if that makes any sense to anyone but me. Devins favorite joke on me is, "Stop looking so happy, Sarah." Of course he means it sarcastically, but seriously--I don't want to stop, now I've learned how. :D
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Second Day of Classes
I'm going to like my Tuesdays and Thursdays. My classes are New Testament, World Dance, Narrative 1 (which is going to be AWESOME), and Illustration 1 (which will probably be my hardest art class, and probably my hardest class PERIOD, but it is also going to be AWESOME.)
And, now that I'm in the BFA program, I get Studio Space. Oh yes. I am really, really excited about this. No more trying to carefully arrange the easel and palette and towel and turpenoid all on my desk at once. I AM OFFICIAL NOW.
Not much more to add. Except that the phone chord is still lost. I don't really know where to look. And I'm wearing my nerd rock and it makes me happy. And one day I will be Brave and Wear It In Public and people will be like, "Oh.... I, uh, like your necklace." And I will be Amused.
And, now that I'm in the BFA program, I get Studio Space. Oh yes. I am really, really excited about this. No more trying to carefully arrange the easel and palette and towel and turpenoid all on my desk at once. I AM OFFICIAL NOW.
Not much more to add. Except that the phone chord is still lost. I don't really know where to look. And I'm wearing my nerd rock and it makes me happy. And one day I will be Brave and Wear It In Public and people will be like, "Oh.... I, uh, like your necklace." And I will be Amused.
Monday, August 31, 2009
First day of classes!
So today was the my first day of classes--woot! Not really all that much to report about it, to tell you the truth. I had work all morning (8-1) and right after that I had Advanced Life Drawing with Brother Hull. I'm pretty excited about that class. I feel that I'll learn alot, and most of the work will be in class (drawing from models) or stuff that I already do (sketchbook). Then I had my Advanced Computer Applications for Illustrators class, which might be more accurately titled "Digital Painting". If you want to see my teachers work, his blog is http://davemcclellan.blogspot.com/. It seems like most of the work for this class will be done in class. In addition, we can basically paint whatever "interests us". This means FANART.
On a completely different tangent, I've lost my phone chord. You know, the one you charge your phone with. This means that I am Without A Phone. So if you've tried calling me in the last few days and were sent straight to the answering machine, thats why.
Another completely different tangent--Scarlet Pimpernel at Hale Center Theater THIS FRIDAY. I am really excited to see it. Becky went to see it and told me that she thought they did a GREAT job. (Of course they did. This is Hale Center Theater we're talking about.) So that is one BIG THING I've been looking forward to for MONTHS that is Coming Right Up.
I'm planning--hoping--to try out for the folk dance team this Wednesday. The catch? If girls want to try out, they have to bring a Man with them. I have two days to find a man...
The Second Semi-Annual Utah Thief-Con was AMAZING. I now have a Nerd Rock. Well, its supposed to be Hamiathes Gift, but somehow in the two days since I've made it it has acquired the endearment "Nerd Rock."
"Hey, I like your necklace."
"Thanks! Its my Nerd Rock."
This amuses me immensely.
I'd show you all a picture of said Nerd Rock, but the way I would do that would be with my Handy Dandy Camera Phone which, as I said, is out of battery and not likely to be charged until next weekend (when I'll go home to Witness the Awesomeness of Sir Percy.) So maybe later.
Also, I'm planning on having Annilyn the Amazing help me make some awesome Nerd Shirts. They will be hilarious and nobody will really understand what they're about unless they've read Awesome Books.
Speaking of books, I'm going to be getting a couple free ones in the next couple weeks. I am rather pathetically excited about this.
Yes, it's been awhile since my last entry. But thats because not much has been going on. Now that friends and roomies are back and classes have started, hopefully there will be more Things Of Interest (To More Than Myself) to share.
On a completely different tangent, I've lost my phone chord. You know, the one you charge your phone with. This means that I am Without A Phone. So if you've tried calling me in the last few days and were sent straight to the answering machine, thats why.
Another completely different tangent--Scarlet Pimpernel at Hale Center Theater THIS FRIDAY. I am really excited to see it. Becky went to see it and told me that she thought they did a GREAT job. (Of course they did. This is Hale Center Theater we're talking about.) So that is one BIG THING I've been looking forward to for MONTHS that is Coming Right Up.
I'm planning--hoping--to try out for the folk dance team this Wednesday. The catch? If girls want to try out, they have to bring a Man with them. I have two days to find a man...
The Second Semi-Annual Utah Thief-Con was AMAZING. I now have a Nerd Rock. Well, its supposed to be Hamiathes Gift, but somehow in the two days since I've made it it has acquired the endearment "Nerd Rock."
"Hey, I like your necklace."
"Thanks! Its my Nerd Rock."
This amuses me immensely.
I'd show you all a picture of said Nerd Rock, but the way I would do that would be with my Handy Dandy Camera Phone which, as I said, is out of battery and not likely to be charged until next weekend (when I'll go home to Witness the Awesomeness of Sir Percy.) So maybe later.
Also, I'm planning on having Annilyn the Amazing help me make some awesome Nerd Shirts. They will be hilarious and nobody will really understand what they're about unless they've read Awesome Books.
Speaking of books, I'm going to be getting a couple free ones in the next couple weeks. I am rather pathetically excited about this.
Yes, it's been awhile since my last entry. But thats because not much has been going on. Now that friends and roomies are back and classes have started, hopefully there will be more Things Of Interest (To More Than Myself) to share.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
fer rills this time.
OK, so now I'm REALLY a librivoxateer. My first chapter is recorded, edited, and uploaded.
Hopefully it will be easier after this. :D
http://upload.librivox.org/share/uploads/mla/onceonatime_17_milne.mp3
After all the recording and editing time, I'm pretty sick of my own voice. I think I'll wait awhile before tackling my other chapters...
I'd say more if there was more to say. Life is life. Not very eventful.
Hopefully it will be easier after this. :D
http://upload.librivox.org/share/uploads/mla/onceonatime_17_milne.mp3
After all the recording and editing time, I'm pretty sick of my own voice. I think I'll wait awhile before tackling my other chapters...
I'd say more if there was more to say. Life is life. Not very eventful.
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